Living Dangerously: Coming of Age in Southeast Asia - Part 1

When I was 19, I watched "The Beach" and decided that I had to go to Thailand. I worked hard trying to convince my close girlfriends to go with me. Some said yes. However, the reality was that they were never really planning to go with me. That became clear as my plans started to solidify.

Slowly, one by one, they all bailed. I was resigned to go alone, but thought of one last person to ask - my ex-boyfriend. He'd been to Kenya and I knew it was in his wheelhouse. Thinking back, it probably wasn't the best idea. But, as events unfolded that summer, I realized sometimes bad decisions can bring us down a path that we would never have attempted otherwise.

Within two weeks, I parted ways with my ex. He went to a nighttime beach party in Koh Phangan and I left him a note while he was out. The note said that I wanted to see more of Thailand than a few islands and that I would meet him back at Koh Sahn Road in Bangkok at the end of the Summer. I didn't really speak to him when we met back at the end of the Summer. I don't know what he thought about me leaving or what he did the whole summer other than that he never went too far from the island I left him on.

I did though. For some reason, I felt like I had to move. Something was out there, but I wasn't sure what. I got on a fishing boat back to the mainland and then caught a bus going to the opposite side of Thailand. That bus took me to Krabi, Thailand. I woke up the next morning with plans to go rock climbing. This was the reason I came to Krabi and one of the main things I wanted to do while in Thailand. As I was looking for transportation for my trip, I saw the word "Malaysia" on a shop bulletin board. I instantly knew that I had to go to Malaysia. Not in a few days, not tomorrow, not tonight, but right now.

Within the hour I was in a Mercedes sedan. I didn't know exactly where we were heading and I was with two people that I didn't know. One was an Australian and the other was the driver. The Australian's name was Josh. He was an environmental engineer and had taken a year off of work to travel. We chatted a little on the way to the bus. After that, we were separated on a bus by other tourists, so we didn't get to speak. We traveled all day and didn't arrive until late at night. We were dropped off in an alley in the middle of Penang City. I had no idea where to go, how to get money, and I was alone. All the tourists left after the bus unloaded. They probably all knew what they were doing. But I didn't, so I stayed behind to ask the bus driver for advice on rooms and where to find money so late at night. As I was asking, three other men came out of a door in the alley from behind the driver as he was telling me "you need a room, I have room, I can help" as the men approached he said "come inside with us, you stay with me."

Honestly, I have no idea what was about to happen. I was so scared. I thought to myself that no one in the entire world knows where I am right now. Everyone believes that I am in Thailand. Something bad is about to happen to me, I'm going to be killed and left for dead and no one will ever find my body or even know what happened to me. But fortunately, I was saved. The Australian man that I took a short ride with back in Krabi must have been concerned for me when he saw me hang back. I honestly don't know what happened on his side, all I remember was him grabbing me from behind saying "you're coming with me" and sweeping me away. "You need to be smarter when you're backpacking alone. That was very stupid." I cried. We walked past exchange booths that were all closed. I cried. "I have no money," I said. "How am I going to get a room? I didn't plan this out." Impulse control has never been my strong suit. He told me he would take care of it. He brought me to a dormitory. Got us each a bed and told me to get ready, we were going out. It was like midnight at this point but I was like a puppy dog. I was planning on following my master for the rest of the night and not letting him out of my sight. I felt comfortable with him, like he genuinely wanted to take care of me because he knew that I needed it. I joke when I tell this story that I think he was an angel. He was in white pants and a white shirt and he just swooped into that alley without me even realizing he was there. He took my hand and I immediately felt safe. In retrospect, he could have been a bad person too. Good lord, I should be grateful to be alive. He wasn't a bad person though. He was a wonderful soul.

We found a small place with a few tables and only locals - all male obviously. We had transitioned that day from a mostly Buddhist country to a mostly Muslim country. That night was one of the most memorable in my life for many reasons. One, realizing that I was still a child with much to learn. Two, being grateful for being alive. Three, having the opportunity to spend four hours in a bar with those amazing men. It was not what I expected. They were all so happy to have me at the bar. We talked all night about religion, politics, and culture. And, from the pictures below, you can see that we all had a bit to drink!

Josh deep in coversation

Josh and our new friends

Apparently, I'm number 1

Boat to Indonesia

During that night, they somehow convinced me and my new friend Josh to go to Indonesia. We stumbled back to the dormitory but since the boat was scheduled to leave at 8 in the morning, we opted to talk instead of sleep. I received a lot of advice that night and learned a great deal in a very short timeframe. I still think about that night decades later and 20 countries under my belt. Some things just stick with you.

My first stay in Malaysia was brief but definitely one to remember.