A Series of Unfortunate Events

Still recovering from The Accidental Overdose, I manage to get my sister onto the metro so that we can get to the harbor early and find a place to rest.

At this point, my mother's nerves are on edge given that:

1. She was in charge of Nicole's motion sickness medicine and therefore pretty much responsible for Nicole's current state of semi-blindness and inability to walk; and,

2. She is going on an overnight ship where she will have to sleep on the floor in the common sitting area.

The ship thing has been a source of worry for the last week. You can get cabins on the overnight ship from Piraeus to Heraklion but they are pretty expensive compared to just the general fare. I've spent many years taking this boat and I've always slept on the floor without ever having any problems. It usually involves getting on the ship and staking out some prime real estate. Pulling out a deck of cards and a bottle of wine and killing a few hours before crashing in your sleeping bag. Then you wake up in Crete, get off the boat and start your day.

I've been insisting to my mother that she will be fine. It will all be fine. But the dragging of Nicole's body behind us basically restoked that fire all over again.

"Amy, I'm really concerned about this boat ride. Is there a way we can get cabins?"

"No mom, that ship has sailed - figuratively and nearly literally. I promise you that it will be fine. I've taken this ship like a dozen times and I've never used a cabin. I have never once had a single issue."

We finally arrived at the harbor. I tell my mom that we can rest for a bit.

"Where?!?" She scans her surroundings - the sidewalks, the boats, the pigeons, the bustle. She looks aghast.

"On the sidewalk, Ma!"

"Oh, that is disgusting"

I can't say that I disagree, but I've slept in a lot of disgusting places and this was nowhere near the worst. When backpacking, you sleep where you can. I just tie my money belt around my underwear (an early alarm system) and use my bag as a pillow and I'm all good!

"Well mom, Nicole's practically dead so she's not going to mind. I'm gonna rest. You can find a place to sit and wait."

My mom wakes me up when they start loading the ship. Nicole's looking better after her rest so things are looking up. We board the ship as quickly as we can so we can get the best floor space for sleeping.

We secure the space between the last row of chairs and the back wall which is my favorite spot. It's a little hidden from view so no one can sneak up on you from behind! We put down our sleeping bags and then sit in the seats closest to the aisle and our sleeping bags.

We start talking about plans for our next few days on Crete.

Within five minutes - and I swear this is true whether you believe it or not (but really...you can't make this stuff up) - I hear the rattling of chains coming up the aisle. I turn towards my mother and see two guys in orange jumpers pass her. They almost touch her because of the narrow aisle and the fact that they were chained together at the waist and feet, forcing them to walk down the aisle side-by-side. Each prisoner also had their own feet and hands chained together.

Then, like a scene in a bad movie, another two guys followed, and then another two guys, and another, and another until about 20 prisoners in total were escorted past us by security guards and placed in the front row of the common room.

Oh, hell no! What is this, Con Air? In the past, my mom has made so many scared faces at me that it's hard to believe that her face hasn't permanently solidified itself in a scared state. But THIS, this was just about the funniest scared look I'd ever seen. It was probably the disbelief in her face. Like, she was scared, but she also wasn't sure if she was already asleep and in a nightmare.

I look at her and laugh. "Well, never until TODAY have I ever experienced an issue on this ship. Yay, I'm out!"

We scramble to gather our stuff and get the hell out of dodge. Of course, we're trapped on a ship so there's not too many places to hide. We finally found this great spot by the stairwell entrance. It's carpeted, empty, and we can be the first off the ship in the morning.

Feeling better about the situation, we have some drinks and play a few hands of rummy. After a couple hours, we are ready to get some much needed sleep and put an end to this absurd day.

But the sleep is short lived. In my dream, I hear the sound of jingling metal. I wake up abruptly thinking the prisoners are on the loose!

Nope, there are no escaped prisoners. The jingling is coming from a family that took over our spot while we were sleeping. There is eastern European folk music playing loudly and the jingling is coming from bells moving as the family sings and dances to the music.

An old man, maybe the patriarch, is sitting right at our feet blasting his radio. They seem determined to drive us out! My sister, who's still on the road to recovery, glares at the man and his dancing family and starts talking loudly about how rude they are behaving. Nicole is clearly ready to leave this day behind her. "Honestly Nicole, if they saw us sleeping and still decided to have a dance party right here on our heads, I'm pretty sure they don't care about your comments."

And that's how the day from hell ended. Nicole and the happy dancing family, glaring it out all night. Neither side standing down. My mom basking in the knowledge that she is always right. And me, asleep - 'cause like I said, backpackers can sleep through anything.